i have a girlfriend who is fond of looking back and saying things like, "so much has changed" usually, i'm a likewise stickler for romantic notions of this nature, but lately, it's kind of been making me majorly sick. this time last week i was crowing about what a great day i had had. i talked about food and friends and fugly looking dogs and god wasn't it great that i was just so fucking amazingly perceptive and gregarious and great? well, it's a week later now, and i really can look back and say it myself: so much has changed.
i'm not one to disrespect the elements, and for Water i have a profound and rotund respect. the Chinese, as a matter of fact, in all of their thousands of years of wisdom look to water as the ultimate of elements. it resists nothing and can take away everything, so, yea, props Water.
i know other places have it far more horrible, as in wars and little girls not allowed to go to school and what not, but it's hard to think about them when you're seeing the things we've been seeing here these last few days. what do you say to someone who has literally had every plank and nail of their home washed away? well, i can tell you that you pretty much say nothing. you stand there feeling a scream inside and your mouth opens and you say a lot of nothing. how many empty faces can you look into and still feel ok with, "it could have been so much worse"? here's some leftover Halloween candy, try not to think about the car floating in your kitchen.
honestly, these last few weeks have been straight up shit. death, blood, broken dreams, death, full moons, rising tides, zombies, destruction, death. what the fuck. how about a little Special Sunshine up in here, and we don't even need to discuss the still-indefinitely-submerged L train.
so much has changed since last week and here i am thinking i need to get ready to go out, it's someone's birthday and we still need to go lower into Manhattan are we actually ready for that and suddenly i realize that six years ago - today - i was getting ready to go out for another birthday, not remotely knowing that in just little over an hour, my life would completely change, forever. would i have stayed home? should i have stayed home? what the fuck would have happened had i just NEVER EVER gotten up off of my couch, this time, today, six years ago...
a moment ago i went into the kitchen for a refill of drinkable water which is far more than i can say for other people in this place when my arm caught a large, heavy wine glass that had been teetering over the edge of the table. the sound that glass made behind me when it landed was somehow the most beautiful thing i've heard in weeks. i wish i could have made that sound myself. i wish i had a hundred of those glasses, i would have thrown them all down as hard as i could and then if i could just fucking cry already, i'd stand over all of those gazillion shiny shards and let all the tears i have in me just flow over them and they'd all just sit there together on the clean cold white shiny kitchen floor. broken glass and a whole bunch of tears.
so much has changed.
i'm not one to disrespect the elements, and for Water i have a profound and rotund respect. the Chinese, as a matter of fact, in all of their thousands of years of wisdom look to water as the ultimate of elements. it resists nothing and can take away everything, so, yea, props Water.
i know other places have it far more horrible, as in wars and little girls not allowed to go to school and what not, but it's hard to think about them when you're seeing the things we've been seeing here these last few days. what do you say to someone who has literally had every plank and nail of their home washed away? well, i can tell you that you pretty much say nothing. you stand there feeling a scream inside and your mouth opens and you say a lot of nothing. how many empty faces can you look into and still feel ok with, "it could have been so much worse"? here's some leftover Halloween candy, try not to think about the car floating in your kitchen.
honestly, these last few weeks have been straight up shit. death, blood, broken dreams, death, full moons, rising tides, zombies, destruction, death. what the fuck. how about a little Special Sunshine up in here, and we don't even need to discuss the still-indefinitely-submerged L train.
so much has changed since last week and here i am thinking i need to get ready to go out, it's someone's birthday and we still need to go lower into Manhattan are we actually ready for that and suddenly i realize that six years ago - today - i was getting ready to go out for another birthday, not remotely knowing that in just little over an hour, my life would completely change, forever. would i have stayed home? should i have stayed home? what the fuck would have happened had i just NEVER EVER gotten up off of my couch, this time, today, six years ago...
a moment ago i went into the kitchen for a refill of drinkable water which is far more than i can say for other people in this place when my arm caught a large, heavy wine glass that had been teetering over the edge of the table. the sound that glass made behind me when it landed was somehow the most beautiful thing i've heard in weeks. i wish i could have made that sound myself. i wish i had a hundred of those glasses, i would have thrown them all down as hard as i could and then if i could just fucking cry already, i'd stand over all of those gazillion shiny shards and let all the tears i have in me just flow over them and they'd all just sit there together on the clean cold white shiny kitchen floor. broken glass and a whole bunch of tears.
so much has changed.
