i'm a total whore for Groupon. it's embarrassing. Subway sandwiches used to be my thing, but now i find myself waking up in the night in the throes of my early morning sleep disruptive disorder stress patterns checking out the latest must-must have deals on my smartphone. i'm afraid to look at "My Groupons", the place where those deals are stashed lying in wait for their day in the sun. what the F?! did i really need $200 worth of framing from some place in Chelsea? all the laser hair removal packages go without question, but the body-reading class taught by the former spy? well, shit, that actually sounds super exciting, and i saved 80% on that deal, so lay off already. the half-price tickets for live mystery theater on the LES? don't you DARE tell me i didn't need that. other items on the list include sheets, teeth whitener, a trip to Jamaica, acting classes, painting classes (BYOB!), belly dance classes, magazine subscriptions, mani-pedis, language learning aids, entrance to the Museum of Sex, massages, facials, and multiple, and i mean MUTLIPLE, half-off passes to the Russian Bath House on 10th Street where Zhenya, THE most muscled very tall Russian man in all of New York will spend an hour walking on my back at 78% off the regular, significantly more expensive price. in a word, or two or three, Groupon has changed my life and i just happen to know that i am far far far from being alone.
now i hear they're going under. what the fuck, and why can't all good things in life just mother-fucking last ALREADY??!
now i hear they're going under. what the fuck, and why can't all good things in life just mother-fucking last ALREADY??!
