sometimes i think that i'm either going to die soon and unexpectedly, probably when i find out that i've had cancer all along, or, more likely, that i will live to be 120 and just be absolutely miserable. every time i go see my doc, i ask if i have cancer and he laughs, but i don't fucking find it funny, not one bit.
you know what else is sort of like cancer? football. i don't understand this American obsession with a shit culture that serves for nothing but brain rotting. think about what Sundays and Monday nights and whatever other nights the games are on now must have been like back in the day. i imagine that people either read, spent quality time together in the outdoors, ruminated on certain unfortunate circumstances in the world and how they might be solved, gathered in jolly congruence and ate heartily - or not, who cares, they just didn't watch football. whatever it was they were doing, i bet it was better than sitting on a smelly couch throwing crumpled, empty Doritos bags at your 97 inch flat screen while belching over your 16th beer and feeling valid stress over the fact that some fat assholes did or didn't just move the ball a couple yards down a field. i mean, this shit fills stadiums, "football night in America". why doesn't the fact that we're dumb as sin move people to react in similar fashion? these kids marching now on wall street might be up to something, except for the fact that they're all probably carting around iphones, so....shut the fuck up already then.
i just found out that someone i love so so so much has cancer, stage iv. i'm glad this isn't 100 years ago, or even 10, but THAT is a hard, hard pill to swallow.
