one thing that really endears me to the city i live in is the heat. early on, i didn't think i'd be able to make it through these nasty summers, but i've since (and recently) realized that, just like everything else you really really love and want in your life, you need to love it at its absolute ugliest, even if it's seepin sweat through bodily crevasses you didn't even know existed. if you truly love something, and it just happens to be a subfrigerator scum wallower on the side, for example, you better just straight up love away if you're waiting for even a figment of it to come right straight back at you. otherwise, you and that thing you really love are straight-up goners, and what's life without something you really really love?
take New York when it's 110' out and full-fat humidity. your ass is stuck to the backseat of a cab where 100 other people have just slapped their sticky asses in the last hour alone, and you've been sweating since before you left the shower. heat in New York is like a concrete metal gargoyle, crouched all quiet right outside your window looking in, rubbing its gnarly little stone hands together. you're walking around all cool and happy as a clam in a climate controlled 68', but you know full fucking well that bitch is just waiting for you to peek out your drawn window shades so it can yell SURPRISE MOTHER FUCKER!!!! and laugh its ass off at your stricken face.
that's heat in New York. it's disgusting and abusive really, but you love it, even the parts that leave you all nasty because that gummy summer air grime is literally slothing off and all over you already and when people sipping lemonade enjoying a cool breeze on their verandas in the country say, "i don't know how you do it", you realize that if taking shit from summer in new york is some real kind of love, you wouldn't have it any other way.
there i am being a big ol hypocrite again since i'm also staring out a huge picture window at nothing but trees while i write this, but so what. i'll catch a train back sooner or later, too, so...bear with????
this is a gargoyle in Paris, but that's kinda what heat in new york looks like. shit, i think i just realized Love probably looks like that, too: fuck Cupid, people crap their pants and cry like babies when they see that face.
one of the best books i've ever read is the gargoyle, by andrew davidson and i highly advise that you quickly kindlekin that shit to whatever e-reader it is you have straight away.
