i wish this post could play def leppard.
what makes love right? can someone tell me? this is also on my List of Things I Absolutely Need To Know, too. when i was growing up, i had no real aspiration other than to find true love. i didn't even know what that meant, come to think of it. all i know is, i didn't want to be a doctor, lawyer, nurse, jockey, teacher, bus driver or any other of that standard iwannabe bullshit. all i remember is standing outside wishing on stars every night, that "wish i may, i wish i might" nonsense, and all i wanted was him, but how would i even have known what "he" was when i was 9, 10, 11, 12??? what an idiot.
what makes love right? can someone tell me? this is also on my List of Things I Absolutely Need To Know, too. when i was growing up, i had no real aspiration other than to find true love. i didn't even know what that meant, come to think of it. all i know is, i didn't want to be a doctor, lawyer, nurse, jockey, teacher, bus driver or any other of that standard iwannabe bullshit. all i remember is standing outside wishing on stars every night, that "wish i may, i wish i might" nonsense, and all i wanted was him, but how would i even have known what "he" was when i was 9, 10, 11, 12??? what an idiot.
there was my first love. God, i loved him, and it really was so sweet. all i wanted more than anything was to marry him and live happily ever after, but when he proposed - on the subway, as i was falling asleep and probably drooling all over his shoulder - i actually said no. what an idiot. he's a doctor now and has two or three kids, i can never remember, and a gorgeous wife who sits around doing nothing and sometimes i listen to him on podcasts and sometimes he'll send me an email, once or twice a year, and it's great but i know we could never have been together, anyway. he still has a sexy voice and a sexy brain and i still straight-up love the shit out of him, but he wasn't the one from the stars that i froze my ass off wishing for.
star love is when you can't possibly be close enough to a person in any single given moment, when you want to crawl into their skin because there's so much love it can only fit into the two of you together, when you literally need only to to eat them sleep them dream them breathe them pray them wake up and die to them. that's star love.
when you wish on the stars, you always, always, always get what you want.
i never, ever, EVER imagined that i could possibly feel even the teeny-tiniest bit of love like the Love i felt with you, for you. when i say it blows my mind, it's not even hyperbole: HOW is it even possible, that Love, and *why* can't i understand it?? it HAS to be 'God', it HAD to be Stars, because i still feel it, even when i don't want it anymore.
it doesn't make any sense. maybe i wished too hard. what an idiot.
it doesn't make any sense. maybe i wished too hard. what an idiot.
"finita la musica, we're finished in this town"
it's a nice day to start again.
it's a nice day to start again.
