this morning, on the 5 downtown, a black man stood amongst the masses, loudly proclaiming the end of times and other related terror. i wanted to fucking smack him. in his hoarse, seriously way too loud for morning voice, he talked about Broadway being overrun with smoke and running scared people (real original, asshole) and everyone just stood around pretending like he wasn't there. actually, there was one lady who would giggle every time he said something particularly mortifying, so obviously i wanted to slap that bitch, too.
i've always kind of envied the crazies. who's to say they're crazy and we're not? shit, if i walked around yelling shit that crossed my mind, people would think i was crazy too, but really, what the fuck does that even mean? that i can say what i want, when i want?? those lucky bastards: who doesn't want to be them??
when i was younger, i used to think fairies lived under this particular species of swamp plant that i'd pass once in a while when was i forced to walk to school. yes, i walked past a swamp. no, i didn't walk uphill both ways through 4 feet of snow barefoot, but when my father got pissed, one of our punishments would be hauling manual ass to school, which was, i think, 2, maybe 3 miles away in the rolling countryside, call me Laura Fucking Ingalls. anyway, the leaves on this plant were like little sloping roofs, and maybe i watched Smurfs once too may clandestine times at the neighbors on Saturdays ("after these messages.......we'll be riiiight back!"), but i could see very well that little people could fit under there rather nicely. i even wrote an essay from the point of view of one of those little people and Mrs. Gloo, my fifth grade English teacher, lauded it so much in front of the class, her nose turned red, which it usually only did when she was pissed, or drunk. recalling now that i wrote that essay in 5th grade worries me. did i really believe little people lived under plants in a swamp when i was eleven??? and why didn't my parents pick up on that??
sometimes when i'm upset and want to forget, i pray. i don't know what i'm expecting, maybe some angels to come down and kick some ass, or maybe some celestial ninjas. that'd be pretty cool. maybe i should start shouting about it in the subways. Repent, you fucking dumb asses!!! Or prepare to face the celestial ninjas!!
see what i mean?
anyway, here's me as a celestial Super Ninja. sorta.
i've always kind of envied the crazies. who's to say they're crazy and we're not? shit, if i walked around yelling shit that crossed my mind, people would think i was crazy too, but really, what the fuck does that even mean? that i can say what i want, when i want?? those lucky bastards: who doesn't want to be them??
when i was younger, i used to think fairies lived under this particular species of swamp plant that i'd pass once in a while when was i forced to walk to school. yes, i walked past a swamp. no, i didn't walk uphill both ways through 4 feet of snow barefoot, but when my father got pissed, one of our punishments would be hauling manual ass to school, which was, i think, 2, maybe 3 miles away in the rolling countryside, call me Laura Fucking Ingalls. anyway, the leaves on this plant were like little sloping roofs, and maybe i watched Smurfs once too may clandestine times at the neighbors on Saturdays ("after these messages.......we'll be riiiight back!"), but i could see very well that little people could fit under there rather nicely. i even wrote an essay from the point of view of one of those little people and Mrs. Gloo, my fifth grade English teacher, lauded it so much in front of the class, her nose turned red, which it usually only did when she was pissed, or drunk. recalling now that i wrote that essay in 5th grade worries me. did i really believe little people lived under plants in a swamp when i was eleven??? and why didn't my parents pick up on that??
sometimes when i'm upset and want to forget, i pray. i don't know what i'm expecting, maybe some angels to come down and kick some ass, or maybe some celestial ninjas. that'd be pretty cool. maybe i should start shouting about it in the subways. Repent, you fucking dumb asses!!! Or prepare to face the celestial ninjas!!
see what i mean?
anyway, here's me as a celestial Super Ninja. sorta.
